Ash Shumtu (berdiam diri)

Rasulullah SAW bersabda:

“Barang siapa yang beriman kepada Allah dan hari akhir, hendaklah bertutur kata yang baik atau diam.” (HR. Bukhari)

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Sambil2 baca blog http://wordstuck2heart.wordpress.com/, hadis yg ad dalam blog ni mengingatkan sy pd usrah dgn kakak usrah kumpulan sy, Kak Yana...pasal 6 soalan yg Imam Ghazali ajukan pada anak2 muridnya...ap 6 soalan tu?

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1. Apakah yang paling dekat dengan diri kita di dunia? *mati
2. Apakah yang paling jauh daripada diri kita di dunia? *masa lalu

3. Apakah yang paling besar di dunia? *nafsu

4. Apakah yang paling berat di dunia? *memegang amanah

5. Apakah yang paling ringan di dunia? *meninggalkan solat

6. Apakah yang paling tajam di dunia? ....

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tp, fokus post ni untuk soalan 6...ye, ape yg paling tajam dalam dunia ni?ad jawapan?rase2 ap?cube bgtau...ha...

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jawapan ni, time usrah tu, seme ahli group dapat jawab dgn betul...jawapan nye: LIDAH manusia..

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kenape?kenape ye?sbb...lidah ni berupaya menyakitkan dan melukakan perasaan org lain dengan kata2 yg org cakap pedas...nak2 kalau ad xpuas hati kat org ke tibe2 dgr org cakap pasal kite ke..ha..kadang2 tu, cepat je mulut nk potpet nye kan...

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sy xcakap org lain, sy pun xterlepas dari seme tu...tp, seriously, berdiam diri tu lebih baik dr berkata2...especially bile kite marah...betol...ni dr pengalaman sendiri...& ap yg terjadi tu sgt2 memberi pengajaran untuk sy berdiam diri especially time marah..sbb, kata2 kite time tgh marah, kalau kite pk2 semula..mmg sgt2 xsedap didengar...

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lg, berdiam diri ni lg bagus, sbb last2 yg diam tu jugak yg menang..kadang2, diam xbermakna lemah kn..just biarkan je...kalau kite rase sakit hati dgr org cakap mcm2, mcm tu jugak la sakitnye org dgr kite cakap macam2...so..baik diam...

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sekurang2nye, bile kite sedar dgn ap yg kite cakap tu menyakitkan hati org, kite xmenyesal sbb kite sanggup keluarkan kata2 mcm tu kat org lain....kan?walaupun dh mintak maaf, still, the guilt is still there...deep down in the heart....

Lisan adalah pantulan dari diri kita. Memelihara lisan sesuai dengan ajaran Allah merupakan salah satu perkara terpenting bagi manusia. Bagaimana manusia memelihara lisan dari dosa dan banyak bercakap, menggunakannya untuk perkara-perkara yang baik semuanya itu memerlukan pengekangan diri atau hawa nafsu. Membiasakan diri untuk diam merupakan awal dari pembiasaan menimbang kata-kata sebelum dilontarkan. Sesungguhnya berlebih-lebihan dalam pembicaraan merupakan salah satu faktor dari tertutupnya hati.

sarah berkata: takot nk kawin bile tgk cite tu...

"Kadang kala kerana sukar untuk bertolak ansur pun boleh jadi sebab penceraian. Ikut kepala sendiri je.. Maybe kerana sudah terbiasa dengan cara sendiri seperti faktor anak sulung atau anak bongsu."

(quoted from: http://miszsephia.blogspot.com/)
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tgh2 baca blog 'miszsephia' pasal kes penceraian, tetiba sy teringt salah sorg kawan sy yg post kat FB cakap, beliau tibe2 tidak berani untuk melangkah ke alam perkahwinan itu..hehehe

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kenapekah?

tu seme penangan satu cite yg bertajuk:

::BLUE VALENTINE::

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kawan2 sy seme suruh tgk cite ni..ok2..nnt sy tgk k...
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it's not only Sarah, but the others like Mohanah and Priyah were saying the same thing about marriage and its commitments...

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bnyk kot nk kene pk pasal ni kan?....tolerance, understanding, xboleh nk jd keras kepala, xboleh pentingkan diri and etc...

(ni baru satu bahagian =.=")

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tp, mcm ap yg Sarah cakap...

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we shouldnt be scared of something that is allowed...because no matter what happens, Allah would be there to help, in every step of the way..and should never forget it...and should have faith...

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then, satu persoalan lg..

mengikut ap yg sy quote dr blog miszsephia kat atas sekali tu..

combination anak sulung and anak bongsu?

ap kata anda?..
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kalau ikot kawan2 time kecik2 kat skolah menengah cakap,

combination anak first and anak last paling best...

kan Nadwa?kan Pyan?kan Zam? :P

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so, mcm mane ye?

boleh x pk mcm ni: xpelah, baru awal 20...xnk la pk lg..huhuhu

boleh?

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call + text messages from ur bestie's gf?

dh bace kan title post ni?

penah kene x?

hehehe

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kalau xpenah kene, dinasihatkan supaya jgn bermain dgn api k..yela, mmg la die bestie kite, tp, kalau difikirkan perasaan gf nye, mesti la gf nye xberape nk senang kan...

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(still, it depends on the individu..yela, kalau yg mmg ok and xkisah pasal ni, xpelah...sy?kisah ke x?tgk org...hehehe :P tp, xdela sampai classmates ke schoolmates ke contact kat fb ke ap ke nk mengamuk kn..tu...xdelah..jauhkanlah...menakutkan kalau jd mcm tu..hahaha)

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kenape sy katakan jgn bermain dgn api?

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ok, fine, mmg syg kan friendship tu, tp, dr kite rase bersalah pada both of them sbb kite membuatkan mereka berada dalam zon perang, baik kite jauhkan diri dulu.....
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serious...jgn la cuba2..walaupun kite xde perasaan kat bestie kite tu, tp, kalau dh sampai kene call dgn gf die, kononnye nk tanye khabar n nak kenal jugak ngn bestie bf die, mmg tu petanda yg xberapa nk ok la tu....

(tp, tgk la jugak..ad jugak yg mmg betul2 nk kawan..kalau betul2 tu, xpelah kn...sbb ad jugak kn yg boleh mcm tu...mcm yg sy cakap, it depends..ok?)

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ni based on MY experience and yg lain, xencounter ngn seme ni coz ur bestie punye gf ok, tu, xpelah, xde hal la kan....
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tp, kalau xnk rase perasaan bersalah tu..adalah lebih baik untuk tidak menjebakkan diri...lebih2 kalau dapat sense yg anda bakal menerima call n msg yg xberape sedap didengar dan dibaca.. :)
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peace! (^_^)v

(post ni sbb terbaca satu entry kat blog kawan kp kawan sy...)

-ap2 pun, sekali lg, ni pengalaman sy..just nk share..supaya xde org rase perasaan bersalah tu mcm yg sy rase...even my bestie cakap sy xsalah, tp..huhu xtaulah, perasaan bersalah tu still ad...terasa seperti perasaan tu akan hilang bile my bestie tu dh kawin and hidup bahagia..kpd bestie, sila cepat kawin and hidup bahagia ye :)-

nota kaki: 7April- the truth makes me happy...it's not because of me...cause, they're still together after the incident.... (^_^)v

acquiring the language vs learning the language

satu hari di dalam kelas, ketika Eryna sedang tekun menjawab soalan grammar, teacher mereka menghampiri dan memerhatikannya sejenak..lantas....:

teacher: this is what I said to you before regarding the differrence between those who acquire the language and learn the language.

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(kemudian, satu arahan menyusul)

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teacher: raise up your hand if you think you acquire the language.

selepas melihat2 mereka yg mengangkat tangan, (dan disebabkan separuh kelas angkat tangan n ad yg xsepatutnye angkat tangan pun angkat, teacher pun explain...)

teacher: those who acquire the language are expose to it since they're young..they learn the language through experience and early exposure..which means if for example you speak in English with your parents or friends or you watch or listen to English programmes since young, so, yes, you're in this 'acquire' group...

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(mereka yg tidak sepatutnya angkat tangan mula mempertimbangkan keputusan mereka...kemudian, teacher menyambung..)

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teacher: and if you notice, those who learn the language generally learn the language by going through the rules..and normally, they find it interesting to learn and know the rules in order to acquire the language.

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(murid-murid macam dh ready nk categorize diri masing2 lantas...)

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teacher: so now, raise up your had if you think you're in the 'acquire' group..

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(teacher nampak berpuas hati dgn individu yg mengangkat tangan)

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kemudian beliau membuat konklusi yg lain adalah dalam 'learn' group..

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persoalannya, mcm mane teacher boleh tau sape yg sepatotnye ada dalam group ni and group tu?

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ha..kalau diperhatikan, sape2 yg hebat dalam arena melontarkan buah fikiran melalu berbicara ni, selalunya mereka ni tergolong dalam geng 'acquire'..sbb, kebanyakan diaorg ni, dr kecik dh expose dgn english...ad yg selalu tgk n dgr english programmes and ad yg dibesarkan dalam family yg cakap English..so, kalau dr kecik dh dgr, expose dgn English, secara tak langsung mereka ni pick up the language even though diaorg xbelajar rules dan sebagainye...and kebanyakan kawan2 sy yg termasuk dalam group ni, mereka cakap, mereka prefer speaking rather than writing..sbb, diaorg cakap, especially dlm academic writing, susah nk menulis sbb diaorg tend to menulis macam mane diaorg bercakap..and lagi satu, diaorg xberape nk suke grammar..huhu

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kalau group yg learn the language, kebanyakan nye belajar English time kat skolah, then, balik umah, xcakap pun..kalau jumpe kawan2 kat skolah pun, xde nk cakap jugak...so, bg kumpulan ni, they prefer writing rather than speaking cause kumpulan ni acquire the language by going through the grammar rules...so, kumpulan ni, selalunye terlalu risau dgn die punye grammar, betol ke x ni die cakap...tp, lain cerita plak time menulis, sbb, diaorg rase confident bile menulis, yela, sbb diaorg boleh check grammar and everything...

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so, korg group mane?

(pk jap..)

kalau korg group yg ad sedikit masalah dgn writing especially academic writing, lecturer kami ad bg tips, beliau cakap, kalau kamu menulis macam kamu bercakap, xpe, just spend about 10 minutes, jot everything in your mind on a piece of paper..the, susun la semula..tgk, yg mane appropriate untuk academic writing...and ubah la supaya kedengaran lebih academic writing...

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and bg group yg lbh ske menulis n belajar language melalui rules ni, mmg liat sket nk dgr die bercakap..tp, seriously, group ni, kene ad courage and motivation untuk improve diri dgn bercakap...tu je ubat die..be active in group discussion..slow la, salah sket2 tu, adat la...tp, make sure jgn slow sgt, nt kene tinggal... (^_^)

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tp, seme tu bergantung pada individu tu jugak...cause, ad je kawan2 sy yg hebat dalam menulis dan bercakap, xkisah la diaorg ni expose dgn English since they're young or not...and xde la pulak kalau sape just ske menulis je tu, xboleh nk cakap, boleh je..antara nk ke x je..so..tepuk dada, tanye selera... :)

gender-biased materials?in textbooks?

sexist use of language?

gender-biased materials?

in our textbooks?

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is it true?should we bother?never heard about this before...hmmm..

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yeah, me too, never heard and never thought about it before..ever since I used the textbooks, seriously, this topic never came across my mind..until I read these two articles:

1) Gender Representation in Malaysian Secondary School English Language Textbooks by Jayakaran Mukundan and Vahid Nimehchisalem

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2) Subliminal Sexism in Current ESL/EFL Textbooks by Hasan Ansary & Esmat Babaii

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the sociolinguists, who do the reasearch on language and gender, really pay their attention to every single point related to their field.however, it's rather surprising to see how a letter-difference between these words: 'letters' and 'letter' denote different meaning in the eyes of the sociolinguists.

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they said, these words are the examples which show gender biasness present in the textbook as 'letters' is commonly associated with female while 'letter' is for male.

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how could these words show biasness?they have no difference in meaning, still the same - the written message which is sent by post in an envelope, only the word 'letters' shows plurality...what's the big deal? am I right?yes?no?

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yeah, perhaps it's not a big deal for those who live in a community which does not really concern about this issue..however, Mukundan and Nimehchisalem assume that when you write a letter, you are involved in active communication like a manager, while writing letters connotes that you are only writing for someone or you merely deal with letters (eg: clerks). It means, men are portrayed of having a higher occupational standing compared to women.

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(betul kan?tak terfikir pun sampai macam ni..huhu just tau, kalau as 's' makne nye plural, kalau xde, makne nye, singular...sape sangka....rupa2nye...huish!)

(tgk exmple kat bawah ni, lagilah...huhuhu)

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now, next example, the words 'busy' and 'work': which one is frequently related to female and which one is more male?

ha...the answer is..

'busy' --> female

'work' --> male

and why they said the use of these words symbolise gender biasness in the textbooks?

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the reason is:

1) busy, which often describe female shows that it has no denotation of reward/payment + refers to paid/unpaid employment + the use of excessive energy/possibly wasted effort.

(whattt??)

while

2) work conveys the meaning of productivity and payment.

(ehhh??)

=.="

thus, the difference in meaning of the words shows biasness as the men always portrayed as the breadwinner and often have higher economic status.

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(gender bias ni, bukan perempuan je kene, cause dalam artikel 1 ad cakap, watak lelaki dalam textbooks, walaupun selalunye die lg bnyk dr watak perempuan dan selalu dapat lebih, tp, dalam textbook, diaorg ni pun mengalami biasness sbb, watak lelaki selalu dikaitkan dgn negative characters kalau nk dibandingkan dgn perempuan...huhuhu jdnye, pasal gender biasness dalam buku teks ni, bukan la perempuan je selalu kene, lelaki pun ad...just...sebelum2 ni, xpenah terfikir pun ap yg ad dalam buku teks tu, boleh ditafsirkan sebegini rupa...gender biasness dalam buku teks?menarik2~)

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-teringat zaman gne textbook..kalau la time tu terfikir mcm ni...agak2, macam mane?